Now that I have your attention, I regret to inform you this topic has nothing to do with cheese covered Pretzels. This is a joke thread so let's get some jokes rolling. Post any funny jokes here.
1. No flaming, no bashing, etc.
2. Post warnings on jokes that maybe racist, sexist, x-ist (insert anything in x). However if they get too bad, I'll request it to be removed.
3. Have fun and make me laugh.
3 men walk into a bar, the 4th one ducks.
Good Catholic Humor
One day an atheist is walking through the woods, admiring the accidents of creation. He looked at the trees, listened to the murmur of bubbling creak near by. Every now and then he would hear a forest animal chatter, cross his path, then run up out of sight in some nearby tree. As he was walking, he suddenly noticed everything was quiet. Then behind him, this massive grizzly bear jumps out of the bushes behind him. This grizzly is massive. Standing on it's rear legs, it towered over 8 feet above the forest floor. Letting out a blood curling roar, the bear starts to charge the man. Terrified, the man turns and runs as fast as possible from the monster. After a few minutes, he turns around and sees that the bear was growing closer. The man's heart started pounding faster and faster as he ran from the bear. Not watching where he was going, the man's foot snagged on a tree root and he fell to the forest floor. Turning back to the bear, he sees that the bear had gotten on its back legs again and raised its paw to strike. At that moment the man cries out, "OH MY GOD!" Suddenly, time stops and a light shows down on the man. A voice in the light says, "All these years you have denied my existence, why should I help you now?" Realizing what was going the man replied, "Yes, I know that going back on what I have believed in all these past years would make me a hypocrite. But if you could do one thing, can you make the bear a Catholic?" Silence. Then the voice said, "Very Well," and time flowed again. The man looked up at the bear. Slowly the bear lowered its paw, and brought its other paw up and clasps them together, bows its head and says, "Bless us, Oh Lord, for these are your gifts. . ."