OMG Cheese Covered Pretzels!

You've Got Blonde

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

One day this Asian guy that need to be at the airport within 30minutes or he'll miss his flight.. the airport is only 10minutes away
He hails for a cab and he gets in and the cab driver sets the trip meter.
Driving down the road a Nissan skyline roars past them, the Asian guy get so excited and jumps up and replies "Nissan skyline made in japan very fast"
the cab driver looks over his should with a weird look and ignores him and continues to drive.
a few minutes later a Mitsubishi lancer roars past them. the again guy leaps up and say again "Mitsubishi lancer made in japan very fast"
At this point the cab driver is getting frustrated. and a Toyota supra roars past them
the Asian guy gets up again and say "Toyota supra made in japan very very fast"
They arrive at the airport and the cab driver says"that will be $167.98 please"
The Asian guy asks "why so much" the cab driver replies "trip meter made in japan VERY VERY FAST"

here is a few little blonde jokes for you guys ^_^

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night hes doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, hes going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "Ive heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a persons hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! Im talking to that little idiot on your knee!"

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 Oclock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldnt jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I cant take this, youre my friend."But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bets a bet."Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 Oclock news, so I cant take your money". The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didnt think he would jump again!"

okay this one might be a little rude but im going to share it with you anyway lol

What has females and KFC got in common...

Spoiler:

epic win goober

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked,
'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your
enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front &
tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years &
not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
faced the congregation, and said:

......... 'I've outlived the bitches.'

lol SkittleZ that was hilarious